| Go ahead, read it!
Yes fans, Gigglebytes is back in town! And yes, we`re just as thrilled as you are. So settle back and enjoy some frivolity. You deserve it!
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult!
Charlotte Whitton
Remember that all contributions to the giggle effort are welcome, so e-mail glenda@itweb.co.za with whatever tickles your funny bone.
| A Gigglebytes intervention
Own up! Are you (gulp!) a SPAMMER?
If you think you may be guilty of this horrible offence, Gigglebytes demands that you visit "The Official Site of Spammers Anonymous" at http://www.hatchoo.com/spam/, which is especially for people who just can`t stop sending unwanted e-mail.
You can take "The Official Spammers Anonymous Spammer Test" which will discover whether you are one of the millions of people who clog companies` network arteries every day.
There`s also a spot where you can turn in known spammers. (Rat fink traitors!)
So, take the first step towards recovery today and live your life the spam-free way.
| Headline bloopers
1. Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says
2. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
3. Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
4. Drunk gets nine months in violin case
5. Iraqi head seeks arms
6. Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
7. Prostitutes appeal to Pope
8. Squad helps dog bite victim
9. Enraged cow injures farmer with axe
10. Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
11. Miners refuse to work after death
12. Juvenile Court to try shooting defendant
13. Stolen painting found by tree
14. Two Soviet ships collide, one dies
15. Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
16. Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
17. War dims hope for peace
18. If strike isn`t settled quickly, it may last a while
19. Cold wave linked to temperatures
20. Red tape holds up new bridge
21. Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
22. Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
23. Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
24. Kids make nutritious snacks
25. Chef throws his heart into helping feed needy
26. British Union finds dwarfs in short supply
27. Local high school dropouts cut in half
28. New vaccine may contain rabies
29. Deaf college opens doors to hearing
30. Steals clock, faces time
(With thanks to http://www.jokesandhumor.com/Lists/, an online joke database.)
| A matter of perspective
What all the advertising terms really mean...
- New: Different colour from previous design.
- All new: Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
- Exclusive: Imported product.
- Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
- Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.
- Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn`t understand it.
- It`s here at last: Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
- Field tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
- Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
- Re-designed: Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
- Direct sales only: Factory had a big argument with distributor.
- Years of development: We finally got one to work.
- Breakthrough: We finally figured out a use for it.
- Maintenance-free: Impossible to fix.
- Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.
- High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.
- Non-refundable: We couldn`t make it work long enough to ship it.
- Fat free: You pay for the food, but the fat is free.
(From http://www.lotsofjokes.com/)
| Cool quote of the week
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult!"
- Charlotte Whitton
| Thought for the week
Suppose there were no more hypothetical questions?
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