I look at a wine label and know I've had it before, but can't remember if it was good or bad. Some are so cheap, you fear they're rubbish. Others are far too pricey just for casual drinking.
Maybe you don't bother with such mental gymnastics and just buy your tried-and-tested favourite. Or, being a Brainstorm reader, perhaps you own a wine farm anyway. Whatever the case, I'm thrilled to discover a marquee at the Getaway Show promoting 'The best South African wines for less than R80'.
It's based on a booklet sponsored by Ultra Liquors that features 549 affordable choices. Of those, 359 are under R45, and 30 are under R25. But don't panic and reach for the Rennies, because they all rate at least two-and-a-half stars. Amazingly, two of the bottles under R25 merit four stars for their contents.
An initial 1 114 wines were submitted, so the judges have done us all a favour by eliminating a lot of duds. Of the survivors, more than half rate three stars or more, and 32 earn four stars.
The KVW Classic Cape Tawny, at R63, is hailed as a five-star wine, although I carelessly don't spot that. But trust me, I sample lots of yummy vino and buy two cases. It's great to think I'm not being a cheapskate, just a savvy shopper.
The whole philosophy of the show and the guidebook is summed up beautifully by Darren Chester of Du Preez Estate. "We don't mind what it tastes like as long as it's expensive," he chirps in a mock northern suburbs accent. He's pouring samples of Martinique Johannisberger, at R20 a bottle, and must have seen my turned-up nose. I go upmarket instead, with the R25 Rockfield Sauvignon.
No middleman
Chester is the Johannesburg representative of Du Preez Estate, and sells at the cellar price because there is no middleman. "Unfortunately, people in Johannesburg see a R20 bottle and think it must be kak - if they see it at all," he says. "We take quality wine from a quality estate and make it affordable. If it had to go through one of the big distribution companies, they'd add their extra mark-up, so my R20 bottle would cost R31, and three times that in a restaurant.
We don't mind what it tastes like as long as it's expensive.
"The economy is in such a bad shape that people need affordable wine, but you also need good quality. This is what I call a Tuesday wine, because you don't feel guilty opening a R20 bottle on a Tuesday night and you know it's a quality wine."
Still a fraction suspicious of how cheap it is, I ask Chester to name his personal favourite drink. "Hansa," he replies.
The stand for Balance wines displays bottles with cute labels featuring cartoon elephants. Chantal Bovey Bezuidenhout says their ethos is to strike a balance between work, family and social life, so the Balance Buddy range has a lower alcohol content of 9%, so you can have a drink with your pals and still drive home safely.
Her red wines are cooling in ice buckets on this warm afternoon. "I chill them because a red wine is like a woman - it doesn't take much to upset her and when she gets hot and bothered, you just taste the alcohol and tannin," she jokes.
The Namaqua Wines stand has an intriguing focus on boxed wines. Boxed wines competing in a wine show seem a bit of a stretch, even if their banner declares, 'We only box the best'.
"These are the only boxed wines in the guide and in the catalogue," boasts winemaker Reinier van Greunen. "Our Cabernet Sauvignon outperformed all the bottled wines, and at R45 for two litres, it works out at R16.80 a bottle."
The range is aimed at party animals, or at least the sociable types, with tongue-in-cheek names like Beachbraai Cabernet, Skinny Dip Sauvignon Blanc and Piggyback Pinotage. They're perfect for carting to the beach for a braai or lobbing in the back of a 4x4 when you're off to the bush.
Champagne snob
Van Greunen agrees there's a big stigma to overcome. "Wine is much more affordable if you put it in a box, but everybody thinks it will be crap. By putting quality in a box, we are changing that image. This is the first time we've entered it in a show, and it won a best value award."
I eat another cracker to soak up the alcohol, and squint at my page of shorthand. It looks like a drunken spider has commandeered the pen.
Dale Louwsma sells me a case of four-star Secret Cellar Blanc de Blanc bubby at R40 a bottle. They're normally R50 each, but he has a flight to catch and wants to clear his stock.
I'm a real champagne snob, and if it ain't French, I won't drink it. Perhaps it's the sunshine, the convivial mood, or all the wine I've slurped with only an ice-cream to counteract the alcohol, but it tastes jolly fine. I know that's hardly an official tasting note, but it's been a long afternoon of spitting and swallowing, and I've neglected making sensible notes.
Louwsma works for the Ultra Liquor group, and explains the background of its annual 'best value' awards.
"We have moved the price up from R60 to R80 this year because you get more value in that price range. Although R60 was already quite high, many wines in that range weren't getting exposure, like Raka, which costs around R65 or R75."
Secret Cellar is Ultra Liquor's own label, placed on bottles bought in bulk from some of the leading estates. "We'll do a deal with an estate for 2 000 cases and sell it under our label. The consumer might normally pay R100 and we'll sell it for around R35. Our wines are all under R50 because we believe in giving consumers something they can enjoy every day," he says. "The benefit we get is huge because they like the wine and they like the price, so they'll come back for more and buy a crate of beer and some spirits at the same time."
Louwsma sells me the case of bubbly. I'm happy, he's happy, and, looking around the tasting tent, everybody else is happy too.
First published in the November 2012 issue of ITWeb Brainstorm magazine.
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