Social media may be harming your friendships, if a recent survey by VitalSmarts is to be believed.
According to the survey, hostility is rising on social media and often spills over into real life. About 78% of 2 698 respondents reported an increase in rudeness online, while 20% admitted to reducing the contact they have with someone following an online run-in.
Seventy-five percent of the people surveyed had witnessed an argument on social media, and 81% reported these social media-hosted emotional battles are often left unresolved.
"The world has changed and a significant proportion of relationships happen online, but manners haven't caught up with technology," said Joseph Grenny, co-chairman of VitalSmarts, speaking to Reuters. "What really is surprising is that so many people disapprove of this behaviour, but people are still doing it."
And it's not just your high school sweetheart who may be giving you the virtual cold shoulder; businesses also seem to be venting their frustrations via social networks. A recent incident involving a US restaurant saw similar social media hostility. On 23 March, the owner of the Red Medicine eatery, in Beverly Hills, took to Twitter, naming and shaming a group of diners who failed to show up after reserving a table. While his frustrations were undoubtedly merited, the negative backlash that resulted from his rather public outburst has harmed his business.
The sentiment surrounding the recent US elections is a perfect example of the decline in social media etiquette. One such perpetrator is the toupee tauter himself, Donald Trump. Instead of giving the winner a proverbial pat on the back, Trump took to Twitter expressing his outrage at Obama's victory. "This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy! Our country is now in serious and unprecedented trouble... like never before," Trump tweeted.
Later, he added: "We can't let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided!"
But you annoy me
I believe there are three things that one is advised to avoid discussing - sex, politics and religion. While sticking to this old adage may make for rather dull dinner parties, if you want to avoid conflict online, following this guideline may be a good move (ahem, Mr Trump). Mashable has recently compiled a list of the 20 most annoying things people do on Facebook, most of which we all can relate to.
You still have to be accountable for what you say and do.
I'm sure everyone has friends who over-share about their toddlers' bowel movements, or profess their undying love for their squishy-wishy-bishy bear (aka, their boyfriend or girlfriend). And who can forget those gems who link their Facebook and Twitter accounts, violating your news feed with hashtag after hashtag; or the charmer who feels inclined to check-in each time s/he moves from one location to another. I have often heard calls for an "unlike" button on Facebook for these types of posts. But, while it might be tempting to write a cheeky comment on posts such as these, it is probably better to hold your tongue, which I know can be difficult.
For some arbitrary reason, people think the rules are different online. They really aren't. While people do tend to associate social media with a weird kind of anonymity, you still have to be accountable for what you say and do. Does anyone remember Jessica Leandra Dos Santos? Nope? It's not surprising you don't. She's the ex-model whose career was ruined following a racist rant on Twitter. While it may be your personal Twitter or Facebook account, these platforms are public and people should always remember that.
So, before you make a snide comment about that picture of your "ex-bf with his new gf", take a breath, take two breaths even, and then think about the ramifications of what you are saying. If you wouldn't say it to their faces, you probably shouldn't say it at all.
A friend of mine refuses to accept Facebook friend requests from people who she wouldn't say hello to if she saw them in the shops. As she is only virtual friends with her real friends, it minimises the potential for online annoyances.
And if someone is really getting on your nerves, the best thing to do is unfollow or unfriend the bugger.
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