If I were an investor

I've spent the most of the last week with Gwen Stefani's version of the Fiddler on the Roof song, "If I were a rich man", running through my head.

Of course, if I decide to stick to my current profession, it is unlikely that I will ever get to be stinking rich. (Ever heard of a multi-millionaire SA journalist, or editor, for that matter?) Nevertheless, there is the Lotto so even a journo can dream of what she would do with more money than sense.

So that's what I've done this week: considered what I would do with a substantial windfall. Apart from the decision to spend lavishly on holidays abroad, shoe shopping and dinners at swanky restaurants, I'm a fairly practical person. I know that if I were to receive a huge sum of money, I would need to invest a fair portion of it to ensure my future wealth.

I once teasingly accused ICT personality Andile Ngcaba of being the industry's pie man. "You have a finger in almost every successful ICT venture in SA," I said.

His response was simple: "What else would I invest in? I know this industry, so I know what I am getting myself into."

I liked that response and it's one I've stuck to. Unfortunately, ethically I don't feel I can be an investor in our companies and report on them at the same time. Also, I have two kids and a hubby with expensive techie tastes, so disposable income is a phrase that is never used in our household.

But if I won the lotto, decided to cut my boss's tie off in a flamboyant resignation and headed to the bourse, I would copy Ngcaba's strategy by investing in what I know best.

One company I would definitely not invest in at this stage is Telkom. You see, the fixed-line monstrosity continues to remind me of my dithering mother-in-law.

Kimberly Guest, senior journalist, ITWeb

So here is my current list of South African companies I would invest in and the reasons behind each favouring.

First up would most definitely have to be MTN. You see, it never ceases to amaze me how on a month-to-month basis my cellular bill exceeds my car repayments. If they keep me as a client for the foreseeable future, this company is guaranteed to be hugely profitable. And quite frankly, I would like a little of those profits back.

Second would be the newly-listed Total Client Services. This nifty little organisation is responsible for the collection of traffic fines, of which I and - from watching activity on the roads - others tend to rack up several. Although now that I think about it, I'm not good at paying my fines and this company only gets paid for fines collected, so perhaps I should reconsider.

Last would have to be Naspers. While not technically an ICT company, this media giant is making great strides into electronic media and applications. Also, it has just convinced its CEO to return on a no pay basis and no Eskom-reminiscent bonuses either. I like this concept; more companies in my (not particularly) humble opinion should refuse to pay their top executive. Like Naspers, give the guy (or gal) some shares in the company as remuneration and put the onus on him to "earn" his salary.

One company I would definitely not invest in at this stage is Telkom. You see, the fixed-line monstrosity continues to remind me of my dithering mother-in-law. As it is, my mother-in-law happens to be quite wealthy thanks to the investments of her now-deceased husband. But she refuses to make decisions on what to do with this money. And on those rare occasions that she makes a decision, she follows them up with a mind change - think Telkom's pay-TV endeavours, mobile strategy reviews and even its next-generation network decision - in a matter of months. So right now that money is essentially lying stagnant.

Finally, I would decide to invest in one international company: Apple. The reason for this investment is simple: my hubby is an Apple addict. This is a potentially debilitating illness for which there appears to be no cure.

On one hand, I sympathise. Who can deny that this company has managed to bring the sexy and good-looking into IT? On the other hand, I don't particularly want to spend my weekends begging on street corners for money for food.

I want to be a supportive wife, so perhaps if I took a stake in the conglomerate - which only pays CEO Steve Jobs $1 a year - I would feel less frustrated by attempts to smuggle distinctive boxes into our households. I could never give him free rein of course - there is just not enough money in the world for that - but we could find a happy meeting point.

Aaaaah, if only I were a rich girl.