Broadband buffet

There`s a new trend in IT reporting. I`m sure of it. Editors and reporters, subs and maybe even PR firms, which lurk like giant submarines beneath the lifeboats and the odd yacht that publishing ventures have become, are clearly bored and depressed by the stodgy old headlines that still reign in industry reporting.

Everyone involved is making a supreme effort to write headlines that are more accessible to mainstream readers.

I base this observation on empirical evidence, and have thus far collected at least two specimens that illustrate my point. In an article on Google`s Science and Technology News, a high-frequency update of the best-read IT and science articles, I came across the following description of Napster, sourced from the Boston Herald: "The online, all-you-can-eat music buffet".

Locally, in the same vein, I`ve seen the description "all-you-can-eat ADSL", and I myself have been tempted to headline an article "Broadband buffet". So the analogy between broadband, emaciated as it is in SA, and sustenance is clearly an idea whose time has come.

But we must press on to the next example: Comodo Media Relations, an in-house PR engine for Comodo, "the leading global provider of risk alignment services", mailed me a press release headlined "Dinosaurus Fax is destroying the rainforests". It`s a pretty startling headline, one has to admit, the kind of thing you can scarcely ignore, and maybe even the sort of phrase some journalists would be hard pressed not to repeat in their coverage.

I think it`s a good trend, on the whole. Have a quick look at Google News. You`re likely to find headlines such as DATABASE: News and reviews, or AOL launches free webmail: AIM Mail, or even, incredibly, VIA Eden platform powers new HP thin clients.

Yup, I think the modernistas in the IT reporting fraternity are on to something. And some of the other headlines on this page prove that they have a following. Today, we have IBM aims to simulate a brain, Call it the PlayStation porn-able and Old space suits for spies resurface in Florida. Some of us in the reporting game are clearly getting it, and as a result headlines are becoming more interesting.

Never mind that it`s strictly speaking wrong; journalists frequently hope against hope their audience can`t read.

Carel Alberts, special editions editor, ITWeb Brainstorm

But why stop there? What would happen if this trend became the norm and were taken to its logical extreme? We could see some interesting things, for sure. Instead of reading about HP and LG Philips` extension of their current partnership, in a story headlined HP, LG Philips in monitor supply pact, we might be regaled by an account of the same thing, headlined "Two-a-side pact". Never mind that it`s strictly speaking wrong; journalists frequently hope against hope their audience can`t read, and it`s a nice play on "suicide pact", which will hopefully get some readers.

I`m fantasising. Nobody does that. But how about this one? Microsoft building RFID infrastructure doesn`t really strike me as a very well thought-through, punchy, in-your-face kind of headline. It would have been more interesting if the sub on Web Pro News had a template for headlines, to get those dang journalists to actually write ones that are marginally different from the one on the press release that came in just a minute ago. It would be quite easy, actually, since most IT press releases from the old order follow the same format. The template would go something like this: [Insert vendor] launches/re-launches/confirms commitment to [insert widget/venture].

Wouldn`t that be cool? It would be desperately funny if said journalist, true to form, actually forgot to insert said vendor and widget, and forgot to choose a relevant verb, and said sub took a coffee break at uploading time and the content engine took over. Fantastic!

Sadly, I don`t see any of this happening. IT companies are way too precious about their messaging to allow this sort of creativity to blemish their reputation, their brand promise, their ethos.

But at least, as one discovers on reading the submarine article hyperlinked above, it would be a lot harder to track which PR is controlling the headline in question.

Note: This article should not be read first thing in the morning before tackling a heavy schedule. It is a total distortion of the truth. Don`t take it seriously. And if the many links discourage you, the only really important one is the first.