Children aged eight to 18 seem to be surgically attached to their phones these days, absorbed in a digital world far removed from physical boundaries, and often parental ones too. But parents are getting increasingly concerned, and clued up, about the virtual playgrounds their children are frequenting.
Heather Hansen, who runs educational workshops on Internet safety at Teenworx, says while children have the digital world at their fingertips, they don't necessarily know how to use it. “We're asked to go into schools and sometimes children as young as Grade Four (nine to 10 years old) have access to BlackBerrys, which is stressful for them because they have all this technology and aren't sure what to do with it.”
It's also stressful from a parent's point of view, says Hansen. “A lot of us feel pressured to get BlackBerrys in particular because it's the 'in' thing, and children are after the BBM messaging service.”
With mobile phones emerging as a key device for Internet connectivity in SA, and this filtering down to younger users, it's becoming increasingly difficult for parents to monitor what their children access online.
One of the most popular services on SA's small screen is MXit, the instant messaging service boasting more than 45 million users. Some 30% of users spend most of their after-school time socialising on the platform, according to a recent survey conducted by MXit, the United Nations Children's Fund (Unicef), the Berkman Centre for Internet and Society at Harvard University, and the University of Cape Town.
Close to 26 000 South African youths took part in the survey, which revealed 75% of users talk to strangers at least once a week while 42% do so every day.
It's up there with the birds and the bees talk - it's not easy, but it's something you have to do.
Vanessa Clark, Mobiflock
MXit has implemented various measures to try and protect younger users, but many of these depend on the honesty of those using the platform. The highly popular chat rooms, for example, are only open to users over 13 and split into various age groups, so over 18s can't access the teen zones. But anyone with dubious intentions could simply lie about their age.
Chat rooms are, however, moderated for up to 14 hours a day, and concerned teens can easily report abuse. Parents can also use the chat room blocking feature to cut off access completely.
MXit spokesperson Sphiwe Mahlangu says the platform tries to be proactive regarding safety measures. “Times have changed and technology has evolved and we need to adapt to that. Parents need to talk to children about their online lives and should be upfront with them when it comes to social networking.”
Vanessa Clark, marketing director at cellphone monitoring service Mobiflock, says the generation gap is a very real concern and makes parents feel disempowered, but adds they should see it as an opportunity to learn with their child.
“It's up there with the birds and the bees talk - it's not easy, but it's something you have to do. Once you have a basic understanding you can implement some boundaries. Parents decide what's age-appropriate in other instances; this just needs to be translated into the mobile space.”
Sticks and stones
Another finding in the MXit/Unicef study is that cellphones and social media have made young people vulnerable to new forms of victimisation. Over 25% of respondents said they had been insulted or experienced some form of cyber-bullying.
Hanson says for a lot of children on BBM, this is unintentional. “Some children are left out of groups or invite someone to be their friend and the other person doesn't want to be. The challenge is to try and explain to children that friends on BBM don't necessarily equate to friends in real life, and that their popularity doesn't depend on how many BBM contacts they have.”
“Their phones are with them 24/7 and it's become so easy to share,” adds Clark. “It's easy to be horrible to someone on a phone and kids get caught up in things without thinking. But if your phone is beeping away all night long and you can't get away from it, it can be incredibly traumatising.”
Hansen notes that interacting via cellphones makes it difficult for children to connect the online and offline worlds. “It's a little screen in front of them that enables them to disconnect from reality. They don't see the results, for example, of pressing 'send' on a message that forwards a hurtful statement about somebody else.
Children have told us that they say things on their cellphones that they would never say in real life.
Heather Hansen, Teenworx
“Children have told us they say things on their cellphones that they would never say in real life.”
Hansen advises parents to give their child a phone on the condition that they use it responsibly. “Draw up a contract if that's what it takes, and let them sign that they will be responsible and protect their password and not use bad language and so on, or it will be taken away. There must be consequences to actions.”
Clark warns, however, that confiscating a child's phone can backfire. “Often children don't speak up about bullying or abuse because they're scared their parents will take their phone away. To them it's like cutting off their social life.”
Hansen says it comes down to open communication. “It's about talking and listening to your child and allowing them to share things with you. Ask them about the technology they use and keep up to date with what's going on out there.
“If your child has a BlackBerry, for example, then make sure you understand what they have access to; be one of their BBM contacts or sign up for BB Protect. If you want to give your child a phone with all this technology, then it's your responsibility to establish boundaries,” she says.
This is exactly what one mother, who prefers to be called Tracy, did when her daughter (now 16) began exploring the social networking space.
“Initially, I registered her Facebook account with my e-mail address and let her know I would randomly look at the updates coming to my mailbox. I also told her I would check her MXit and phone messages at will, so she needed to keep it clean and safe. She did.
“Now she is free to do whatever she likes on those forums. She often invites me to have a look at comments, photos or updates in her social media world anyway, so I have an idea of what is happening there.”
Sex, lies and video
Unicef's Innocenti Research Centre notes that the Internet can expose children to dangers that defy age, geographic location and other boundaries more clearly defined in the real world.
In a recent study, the centre found that chat rooms, social networking sites and instant messaging platforms are all areas in which abusers groom potential victims. The centre defines online grooming as the process by which an individual befriends a young person for online sexual contact, sometimes involving Web cams to enable sharing of exploitative material, or physically meeting to commit sexual abuse.
“Having access to chat rooms and the Internet means children can easily get into a situation that's very scary,” says Hansen.
Tracy has first-hand experience with this kind of unwanted attention, and says it's something she was especially worried about when her daughter was younger.
“One or two persistent middle-aged men tried to 'friend' her on Facebook, and asked her to meet them. I intervened and wrote to them informing them I was her mother, she was a child, and they should back off or I would report them. One was so arrogant as to message her again, asking if her mother was as 'hot' as she was. She was then only 14 years old. We blocked them.”
Another growing problem is that of sexting, the practice of using a cellphone to send sexually explicit images or video.
“You hear a lot of horrible stories,” says Clark. “When children are on their phones their inhibitions are down, they're having fun and they don't necessarily think things through.”
Hansen says the trend is spiralling out of control, with children who haven't yet reached puberty being drawn into behaviour they don't understand. “It's a joke to them. They see someone changing in the corner and think it's funny and take a picture. Even the little ones are doing it but they have no idea what the consequences are. They don't realise it could have serious implications like being caught for the creation and possession of child porn.”
According to Clark, parents are jumping at services that monitor and block inappropriate Web content on mobile phones. “A year ago we'd chat to parents and they were concerned but not really too worried about it. Now it's a definite problem and they feel they have to get involved and protect their children.”
Clark likens the maturing sense of online safety to other forms of protection that have become the norm. “It's similar to when we were young and rode our bikes everywhere - no one really thought about wearing a helmet. By the end of my high school career, it started being encouraged that you wear a helmet when you go cycling. Now, it would be completely irresponsible for a parent to let their child go out without a helmet.
“It's not to say that they will get in trouble, but in case they do, it's there to protect them.”
Share