Sticks and stones?

You're at a braai and an acquaintance makes one of those comments. "I'm not a racist/sexist/homophobe but..."

You're at a dinner party and it happens again. "I know this may sound racist/sexist/homophobic but don't you think ..." And while attending a work conference, someone in the row behind you turns to the person next to them and tells an inappropriate joke.

Ideas rooted in hatred, riddled with inaccuracy and teeming with ignorance. Generalisations preceded by a disclaimer in direct contradiction with the words that follow. A disclaimer that attempts to restrict the scope of the remark, by allowing the person saying the ugly observation to feel a little less bad about themselves.

But do you say something? Call out the folly of your peer or colleague? Or do you merely shrug it off because the lifespan of the ill-advised statement does not extend beyond the confines of each unique social exchange?

Enter social networks, online message boards and comment sections and this nastiness is now made public. The words that once existed for a few seconds, now endure forever. For all to see, share and rebut. This doesn't make the words any worse - public or private, there is no excuse for the kind of small-minded views outlined above - it does, however, make them more visible. And by virtue of being more visible - more likely to offend.

It is years since Web-based platforms first emerged and people still haven't realised the potential gravitas of the racially charged status update, tawdry tweet or sacrilegious sentiment they are posting. Just ask Dianne Kohler Barnard, Mcebo Dlamini and Penny Sparrow.

For Kohler Barnard, a DA member of parliament, it was a Facebook post praising the work of Die Groot Krokodil, apartheid president PW Botha.

In a similar incident, Dlamini's Facebook faux pas saw the former Wits University SRC president expressing his admiration for Adolf Hitler. He also shared his belief that all white people had an element of old Adolf hidden inside them.

The words that once existed for a few seconds, now endure forever. For all to see, share and rebut.

And most recently, the now infamous Ms Penny Sparrow found herself in hot water after a reckless Facebook rant. Sparrow, a local estate agent, made some rather controversial comments referring to black people on the beach over the festive season as "monkeys".

In the case of Kohler Barnard and Dlamini, both were found guilty of some form of misconduct but the pair received little more than a slap on the wrist. The verdict is still out as to what will happen to Sparrow, who is still causing quite a furore online. The incident has incited calls to implement stricter anti-racism legislation and raised questions around whether racist social media posts could eventually be classed as a criminal act.

But all these scenarios leave me torn. Torn about how to respond to the fact that online spaces and Web content are increasingly exposing some of the less flattering elements of people and society at large. Much like the fluorescent lights in a clothing store change room highlight every lump and bump, these platforms are uncovering social ills that many of us ignore because coming face-to-face with them is far from a pleasant experience. Obviously, championing the policies of despotic politicians and using racially charged slurs is inexcusable but perhaps it is a good thing that the Penny Sparrows of this world now have a means to have their say. Not because what they are saying is acceptable but because it shines a light on the existence of harsh and prejudicial opinions and behaviours, and provides society with an opportunity to band together and condemn this kind of thing.

On the other end of the spectrum, do these platforms give people with myopic views and intolerant stances too much freedom to share such inexcusable rhetoric? People and sentiments that no one should be paying any attention to in the first place.

Be it online or offline, in a shopping centre or on social media, what you say always has a consequence. Sticks and stones most certainly can break your bones but words can be equally hurtful. So if you don't have something nice to say, perhaps it is better not to say anything at all.

* A former ITWeb journalist, Joanne Carew now resides in the Mother City, where she is admiring the mountain and completing her Masters studies at UCT.